What a crazy week (or so!) it has been! I feel like I haven't stopped moving for the past week and a half--but it's been amazing! Happy, bittersweet moments that have made me stop and really appreciate how amazingly beautiful life really is. Every single second is beautiful. We often forget to appreciate the small moments in our lives--the touch of a little hand in ours when our kids are small; the beauty of a blooming flower--the vibrant colors, the delicate scent, the softness of the petals; the feeling of a good belly laugh when out with good friends; the incredible feeling we're left with when you finish a REALLY good book--the kind you get lost in and immerse yourself in so much that it actually feels as if you've been on a voyage when you're done; the little things.
Too often, we're caught up in the crises, in the major life events and we forget to really stop and appreciate the little ones. The ones that truly make a life. As I've gotten older, I've begun to realize that it wasn't the arguments, the collection calls when I had no money to even buy food for my kids--let alone worry about an old credit card debt, the times my jeans didn't fit just right, the breakups or embarrassment of falling in front of the class--well it isn't those things I've found myself remembering as I've gotten older. Those things are not even a blip on the radar of my mind any longer. Instead, I remember how excited my son was the first time he encountered a goose up close and personal. I remember the squeal of his laugh, how he tried to feed the goose his Doritos, and how his laugh turned a little less certain once he ran out of Doritos and the goose wasn't done. I remember how my mother and I laughed and laughed about that moment once we all scrambled into the car--in fear for our lives from one little goose.
I remember each of my children's first days of school. Their little bodies carrying a backpack that was almost as big as them, as they turned around to grin so hugely while walking up the steps of the school bus. I remember my first concert, with friends--more the trip there than the concert itself. I remember countless lazy days on the beach with my family growing up, and cookouts in the park. I remember the little moments; the happy moments--some sad, I'll admit, but mostly happy. And I realize how precious and how amazing my life has really been. I have more happy, little moments than big, bad, horrible moments. What's more--in those moments I think I felt like life was going to end; like things would never be all right again (you know those moments, when the "wolf is at the door, breathing down your neck, and you can't see a way out of this situation!), but it didn't--life went on, and it was happy again. Those moments do not break us--unless we let them. They are nothing more than the dips on the roller coaster of life. Just a quick dip to remind us to appreciate all the exciting, thrilling, beautiful moments that surround us in every other second.
This past week my children and I travelled to my nephew's graduation from boot camp. I cannot express to you how incredibly bittersweet it was for me. I remember the day this child was born; changing his diaper, watching him play baseball and basketball and football--and gradually getting better. Watching him come to grips with his mother's (my sister's) death from breast cancer--when she was only 28 and he was just a baby of 13--with no idea who his father was. He is now a man. And I am so proud of the man that little baby has become. Against all odds, he has not allowed adversity to get him down--when so many others would have. I know my sister was shining down on him as well.
Anyway, the point of this is to stop stressing over the seemingly monumental moments that are really inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. You will survive. And I promise you that down the road, when you look back on the days of your life--it won't be how many toys you bought your kids (or yourself if you don't have them); it won't be how many times you beat someone else that matters--it will be those little moments--the number of times you laughed or made someone laugh; the number of times you helped someone out, the small joys and pleasures in every day (fresh watermelon on a hot summer's day; biting into a juicy peach; watching the fireworks with family and friends). Those are the moments that matter. So, breathe and take it all in!
